Empty Is More Painful Than Being Hurts

I thought when life's simpler we may not feel the hurts itselves
I thought a simple life with no great distraction and pain wud be great
but surely...that's completely wrong
when it's getting simple we don't feel the pain
all we may even feel just the emptyness
and i thought that's more painfull than being hurts
empty is more painfull than being torn apart
empty is more destructive than you can ever imagine
for almost of my life i prayin like hell to get what it called a simple life with no great distraction....i pray..and i pray..and i pray..and my life seems so monotons
and its terribly f*ckin empty
it hurts coz i don't feel anything
i laugh...but i don't even feel the essence of it
i cry...but i don't even feel i'm too sad to cry on
everything just fake
it's f*cking fake and all i can think about right now is to feel it...
feel the pain, feel the joy, just feel it..as a very normal human being i just want to feel it