Things We Called Commitment

Do men always freakin out when women ask for commitment or gettin' serious in relationship???
this freakin mind seems pull over me to the edge of nowhere..
well i think it began to be in an uproar since one of my coworker tell me about a life which her livin it, last nite....
her love life actually...
she discussed it with me...and yes...i don't even close enuf with her,
but i don't mind listening to her, practically i'm impressed that she wud talk about her private life with me.
she had a boyfriend, and they had this what it called a relationships for about four years.
but apparently..the guy whom she living with do not want to take the next steps (the serious stage, the commitment)
Its obvious that her relationship with this guy was not moving forward,
and she thought that they would never take the next steps, well..clearly.

It's true that i'm not surprise...from almost of my life i just thought that there's no guy in this world who already prepare for what it called a commitment.
i had a five miserable years which i spent for waiting someone who's don't even think about commitment.
formerly i thought maybe it's a sacrifice that i just had to through for sumthin' we called it love.
but then i realize..that's not love....
love should be a thing who bring a happiness and goodness,
not a tear becoz you missing him sooo bad, and he's not even want to talk or meet you..

I do remember..
there's a last questioned that i asked him, "do i ever cross in ur mind..?"
coz i'm really tired for this such a long indeterminancy.
He confessed that he didn't want me to get over him and that he didn't want me out of his life. What a huge schmuck i thought.
He want me on his side but he don't even ensuring what we had for these years..
Then i just thought that maybe i'm just the one who's fall in love alone,
the unloved ones..
and i'm so stupid for waiting around and expecting him.

I will take my time deciding who I will allow to love me. I won't rush into anything but I will allow a date to be a date.
I believe that the things called for commitment involved two people who's prepared. It's not about your marriage license, your wedding ceremony, nor your living arrangements. When you commit, you are in fact agreeing for taking responsibility and integrity, "I am agreeing to share my life with my partner, to assist in his/her personal growth development and happiness wherever and whenever I can. I also agree to cherish and protect this union with my partner so it can forever flourish and always remains a happy one. I am agreeing to this because I want to, and for no other reason."